"Narcissists Suck" has been for me one of the best resources on the web for understanding NPD. I highly recommend it to anyone seeking answers to their dilemna of having a person with NPD in their lives. Although "Anna", the brilliant writer of the blog doesn't post often anymore, the content that is found there is a goldmine of pertinent information just waiting to be discovered. Her insight is profound and her ability to convey her thoughts in writing is, in my opinion, unmatched.
If you haven't discovered her blog yet, here is the link- http://www.narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/ . I would suggest starting from the first posts and moving on from there if you have the time. If not, you can choose particular subjects to navigate through. I've been a follower since the first day I discovered what malignant narcissism meant and her writings have helped me immensely. I only wish I were so eloquent!
That blog has had a truly profound effect on the way I deal with the aging narcissists in my life. "Anna" tells it like it is and provides some great insight into coping mechanisms...the best one being, walk away!
ReplyDeleteAgreed, Anna's blog really tells it like it is. I too have really benefited from her writings.
ReplyDeleteXO and cheers to you.
upsi
Thank you, Dee, for this post. Narcissists Suck was and still is an astounding goldmine for me. Anna's blog was the first one I found on N. parents. I *worked* and cried and raged my way through the whole thing. I copied off most of her posts and underlined and wrote my thoughts and feelings all over each page. She probably literally saved my sanity!
ReplyDeleteI went No Contact with my N. parents Sep.2009; this was my second round of NC. The first 6 months, especially, I felt like a drug addict, constantly fighting the urge to call my parents to "make" them PLEASE fix our relationship. Thanks to Anna's powerful words, all the eye opening comments folks left her, and several other blogs she recommended on her site, I've managed to hang in there.
What a TOUGH, lonely road it's been, finding out that my "parents" are people I probably have to stay away from permanently.
I'm so grateful for you, Dee, and the other bloggers on narcissistic parents that took the initiative to stick your necks out there...very hard for abused people to do!! Thanks to all of you, we finally can form our own family and get much needed validation, comfort, encouragement and mentoring. You guys are parenting me a h**l of a lot better than my N. parents ever did!!! Thanks from the bottom of my heart:)
Thank you Jasmine, I appreciate your comment and I sincerely believe you are well on your journey to recovery because knowledge is power. Knowing what you are up against is really half the battle.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until I turned forty that I learned of personality disorders and it is only because of this wonderful place called cyberspace. I think it has literally saved my sanity!
Although I am a very private person, I feel it is imperative to share our experiences with others in order to begin the healing process and if it helps to enlighten someone else who is still "in the fog", than all the better.
Everyone has their own unique experiences with narcissists and their own journey to make in their own time. It is my hope that this community of refugees from "narcissistland" can share our stories, beliefs and aspirations in order to lesson the impact that narcissists have on society.
Wow, just now I was searching that blog for a post on N's and self-pity. Yep, one of my favorites too.
ReplyDeleteWhat's amazing is she uses her real name, has her photo up there - it's all out there. Good for her.
Yes. YES. Dee, that blog was one of the first sites I "grabbed onto" as I was going down, sure to drown. I'm at a point now in my life where I'm well past the self-doubt and illusion and surface-grip of the narcissists of my FOO, but I'm still left with the "cleanup" and the letting-go and the learning about and caring for my "self". I'm 40 yrs. old. I've been NC from them for about two years. Maybe it's been more, I don't know, I don't log the days because it doesn't matter anymore- it's forever, because of what they are. One of them was supposed to have been a "mother". I've been reading, reading, this whole time since I first saw the first glimmer of the light, trying to educate myself, and I'm working on healing myself and this life of mine. I have noticed great changes and improvement in my relationship with my own daughter, and I do believe I "caught it" in time, for her sake, although the hole in my being where a mother should have been has left me concealing the "needy" part of me. (Never mind the betrayal of a sibling that I have since to come to terms with but am still left with some residue that I can find no words to describe.) I broke from them out of self-defense and survival, but the fact that I have stopped the cycle of abuse and refused to carry on the narcissistic legacy of the women in my family before me has been rewarding; this knowledge sits in the wings now and cheers me on. It allows me to sleep at night, to function, to breathe, to live. I stopped the cycle. This has been my greatest achievement in my stunted life, I believe, so far, because in taking care of myself I have nurtured my own children. I feel strength from within, after all...
ReplyDeleteI still just lurk in all of your blogs because I'm not yet ready to start my own story in writing. Most of the time I want to comment but the energy is not quite there, yet, so I contribute when I'm feeling strong enough. All in good time, I guess. It's a process. I have met such beautiful and caring souls in many of you through your blogs; I know I'm not alone. My eternal thanks goes out to every person who has had the courage to share your own story with all of us. I hope to give back like that one day.
Love,
SCW
Yes Anna's blog has been and still is a Lord-send to me as well. Been no contact for several months and want no further dealings with those hyenas. But have yet to arrive to a place where I can forgive (it was just invalidation - not real abuse) still am upset with them (w)itches.
ReplyDeleteSue, consistent invalidation IS abuse!
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